Kristian Hoffman's Ancient History

Kristian Hoffman

photo taken in 1977 by Lisa Persky

A page of occasional stories from days of olde, of shoe box pictures, of fables and fairy stories
page updated 9 January 2005

Here's a release announcement for my solo single (c. 1979) that never came out. Unfortunately I can't figure out the source - it could be New York Rocker -- The East Village Eye -- or The Soho News.

courtesy of OLIVER CORNER

Liz and Bobby Swope were members of Lydia Lunch's short lived band (and my personal favorite!) Beirut Slump. My cachet at New York Rocker was apparently such at the time that I could just pose with various trashy objets and it was considered newsworthy - or at least acceptable filler!

From T.V. Guide, Jan. 14, 1979:

courtesy of OLIVER CORNER

I came across the below photo of me when I was still in the Mumps. I had just been in the legendary Tropicana coffee shop, Duke's (at the original location on Santa Monica Blvd.) being interviewed for some wonderful fanzine, so I happened to be with friend and photographer Herb Wrede when we stepped out into the driveway. I spotted Joni Mitchell just leaving the parking lot in her car, and started screaming "Omigod!" - an unabashed fanatic even during the revisionist Punk hey day - and lay down on the asphalt, blocking Joni's exit, yelling - "GET A PICTURE! IT'S JONI! IT'S JONI!"

Of course Herb took an AGONIZINGLY long time to focus, and Joni was covering her face with her hands, shivering with outrage - I actually think she started to CRY - and I was feeling worse and worse, but this was my MOMENT - here was THE ONE!

Finally the shot got taken. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered you couldn't see Joni at all! It was like she had willed herself out of the picture.

But years later, when Rocky was directing one of her videos, he showed her the picture, and she was so tearfully sentimental about her CAR, which she had lovingly named "Bluebird" (Buffalo Springfield connection perhaps), that she forgave that fallible corrupt morsel of humanity in front of her wheels and signed this autograph - even supplying my words for me. Wishful thinking on her part - even though she IS a Goddess, I think my thoughts were more like "I'm so darn punky, I don't care if I spoil your day!" Either way, it resulted in this lovely artifact.

Oh - and those ARE blue suede shoes.

Joni Mitchell